I think this story has so much depth and potential and when I was reading it I felt like the language wasn’t keeping up. Between the dreamlike narrative and tender pain it felt to be the reader contemplating this as a reality, I felt like the way it could’ve been told was just ALMOST what it was supposed to be. Does that make sense?
I’m writing like this too recently and find it’s difficult to maintain the voice and storyline but this was awesome and inspiring and I want to write my story now lol
I think the language tells the story as I intended it to be understood, and I’m sorry it missed the mark with you. Maybe it’s a case of being divided by a common language. I’m pleased it has inspired you to get on with writing your own story though :)
I don't see the world ending any time soon, but I can see we humans wiping ourselves out if we continue with our nonsense. Nature will survive. It always does, in some form or other.
I can’t imagine a credible end to the earth. I know we’ll cling by our fingertips even if it means living underground because we’ve poisoned the surface, but I have a horrible feeling that technology will keep us one step ahead of extinction, but that same technology won’t have room for anything else on board. It’s only ever been about us, and of us, only a very tiny elite.
I think this story has so much depth and potential and when I was reading it I felt like the language wasn’t keeping up. Between the dreamlike narrative and tender pain it felt to be the reader contemplating this as a reality, I felt like the way it could’ve been told was just ALMOST what it was supposed to be. Does that make sense?
I’m writing like this too recently and find it’s difficult to maintain the voice and storyline but this was awesome and inspiring and I want to write my story now lol
I think the language tells the story as I intended it to be understood, and I’m sorry it missed the mark with you. Maybe it’s a case of being divided by a common language. I’m pleased it has inspired you to get on with writing your own story though :)
I don't see the world ending any time soon, but I can see we humans wiping ourselves out if we continue with our nonsense. Nature will survive. It always does, in some form or other.
I can’t imagine a credible end to the earth. I know we’ll cling by our fingertips even if it means living underground because we’ve poisoned the surface, but I have a horrible feeling that technology will keep us one step ahead of extinction, but that same technology won’t have room for anything else on board. It’s only ever been about us, and of us, only a very tiny elite.
I'm hoping some of us might go feral...
Oh! I thought half of us already had :)
Beautiful. Let's hope humanity doesn't destroy the rest of nature before we get there.
I hope so too, but I can’t believe we’ll agree to die out as long as there is still life on this planet;
😢
Jane, this is the kind of fable I aspire to write.
Then write it! I wrote what I would love to believe. You can do the same xx
This has so much potential - and is already so rich! I loved the way you are able to quickly set scene.
Thank you! You’re the second person to say this bit of flash fiction has potential :)
Not sure which world I would like to be in at the end! Thanks for sharing this. x
It might be a question of whether we’d have a choice :)
And that’s a scary thought! x
The environmental disaster is getting scarier every day.
I like this very much! I think the earth could end this way.
At least this carries some things forward. Not the troublemakers.
Yes!
I love the image of the fox and vixen as the only ones left. Beautiful writing Jane!
Thanks Nancy. Fox and Vixen are one of my favourite couples xx