21 Comments
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Joan Spilman's avatar

I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

Jane Dougherty's avatar

Ha ha! Sometimes you just can’t help providing that extra bit of agency :)

Douglas Bruton's avatar

neat build up to a dramatic, cinematic conclusion xxx

Jane Dougherty's avatar

A bit Hollywood, I know :) It’s cathartic to blow a villain’s head off now and again xx

JG Salad's avatar

A modern fairy tale ❤️

Jane Dougherty's avatar

Clint Eastwood-style :)

Laura Teodorescu's avatar

I was thinking the line "her daughter is merciless, like her father." meant the daughter dictates what the mother should do, just like the father used to do. the difference, of course, is that she wants what's best for the mother (and herself). But after the ending, I think it was a clue that the daughter knew how the father would act and used the mother as bait, almost. If the father hit her, then she (the daughter) would be able to shoot him and claim self-defence. Not only get rid of him permanently, but not go to jail either.

Jane Dougherty's avatar

I think you’re right about her being so tough she was prepared to use her mother as bait. She might not have thought of it in those terms, but the result was the same. She didn’t doubt her resolve to do it, and the fact that she had pocketed his gun meant she was intending (hoping?) to use it.

Laura Teodorescu's avatar

I definitely read it as her hoping to get a chance to use it. And even if her mother was bait, I feel her logic was that it was alright, because it was the last time her mother would get hit.

Jane Dougherty's avatar

I love that she came over as a real person. It’s encouraging! Thank you, I appreciate the comments xx

Liz Gauffreau's avatar

A very moving story. I was relieved in the end that the daughter took the action needed to give her mother a better life.

Jane Dougherty's avatar

I’m pleased you liked the story, Liz. My gut reaction is the same as yours, but I feel that I’m letting down the tolerant, anti-capital punishment, anti-guns me!

Liz Gauffreau's avatar

I know what you mean!

Marian L Thorpe's avatar

Wonderful use of both setting and pathetic fallacy to strengthen the story tension.

Jane Dougherty's avatar

Thank you! I’ve noticed that the theme of escaping from an abuser or from imprisonment is one I’ve written about several times.

The Sawyer's Daughter's avatar

Uffda, Jane. Another good one!

Ali Isaac's avatar

Indeed! 😅

Ali Isaac's avatar

Powerful stuff, Jane! But not all men...

Jane Dougherty's avatar

So they keep telling us.

Nevena Pascaleva's avatar

I hope it ends happily!